


Finding His Fangs 101

by TheSmallTownGirl



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: M/M, Oblivious Simon Snow, Pining Simon Snow, Simon Snow Is Plotting, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Gay for Simon Snow, Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch Is Plotting, Vampire Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 23:55:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23795746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSmallTownGirl/pseuds/TheSmallTownGirl
Summary: It's eighth year and Simon has cooked up a very... unique way of getting Baz to show him his fangs.
Relationships: Tyrannus Basilton "Baz" Pitch/Simon Snow
Comments: 4
Kudos: 155





	Finding His Fangs 101

I have tried everything to get Baz to show me his fangs. Well, _presumed_ fangs, as Penny says. But he's a bloody vampire, and I just know it. The cold, pale skin, the sneaking around in the catacombs, and having colour right after. The strength and grace he has on the pitch, his cheekbones! (Penny says that has nothing to do with vampirism- but I know better. I've seen Twilight.) I've tried scaring him into it (he's never even flinched), punching him into it, provoking him into it, giving myself a papercut near him, etc. And I'm _almost bloody positive_ that his fangs pop out when he eats. So anyway, I've decided to try a different tactic. It probably won't work, and he'll probably punch me for it, (not probably. He _will_ ) but it's my last resort. I haven't told Penny about it and I'm not going to, because she'll lecture me for it, no doubt. I'm going to _Bella_ him. As in Bella from Twilight.

As in seduce him. Logically, I know he's probably not even capable of being seduced. And especially not by me. Hell, I don't even know if he's _gay_. ( _I'm_ not, but. Drastic measures, yeah?) _Logically_ , I know that this will not work. But when have _I_ ever been one for logic? I haven't got much planned out, but I'm in our room now, and it's dark and he's just got back from the catacombs, so I'm thinking I'll just go from there.

When Baz sees me sitting up in bed, he looks me up and down and then sneers. " _Snow_." His voice is clipped and to the point, blatantly showcasing the hate he feels for me. Crowley, this might be harder than I thought. (No- bloody _impossible_ is what it might be.) I can't work up the nerve to get up and approach him before he locks himself in our bloody en suite, and I hear the shower turn on.

 _I could go into the en suite while he's in the shower._ I could. I probably _shouldn't_. But I very well _could_. And if I did and he was starkers, it might speed the process up a bit. I feel my cheeks burn at the thought of _Baz_ naked. I wonder briefly what would happen if _I_ went in there starkers. Bloody Armageddon, probably. (This is the most my mind has thought this year.) But apparently, I've thought too much without any action, because by the time I finally un-glue my arse from my bed, Baz is out of the bathroom in his posh pajamas, completely ignoring me.

His back is facing me when he says, "Can I _help_ you with something, Snow?" (He has eyes in the back of his head, he does. Bloody _vampire_.)

"Erm," I stutter as I stand up, moving toward him. _Just fangs. I just want to see the fangs._ "Actually, yes," I try my best to sound seductive, but I s'pose I sound right constipated because Baz spins right around and quirks an eyebrow at me.

"Alright there, prat?" I'm bloody done with this. I only wanted to see his fangs, and now he's insulting me and standing so close that I can see blue flecks in his grey eyes, and his cold is seeping through my warmth and I'm only focusing on his hair, and when did I start looking at his lips? (My mind is going too _bloody_ fast.)

"Baz-" I whisper it, but his name gets engulfed by the bloody devil himself as his lips press against mine. It's all teeth at first, but he slows the kiss down, and I take him by the back of the head to deepen it. His mouth is soft and cold, and much nicer than a bloke's mouth should feel. But he pulls back all too soon, and looks right mortified. A faint blush creeps up his neck to his cheeks.

"Sorry Snow, I just, um," Baz never trips over his words. ( _Or_ apologizes.) "You were just so close, and I-" It's my turn to shut him up with my mouth, bringing him back into the kiss. He doesn't pull away this time. I'm very aware of his hands on my back and threading through my hair, tugging softly. I am not, however, so aware of why this began in the first place. (Not that I want it to _stop_.)

 _Fangs_ I remember as I pull on his hair. ( _As soft as I had always imagined it to be_.) I want to see his fangs, but I won't mention it _now_ , so he doesn't think I'm using him. (I _am_ using him. And I feel like a right prat about it.) (As I tug off his shirt, it doesn't _feel_ like _I'm_ using _him_.) He puts sloppy kisses down my neck and my shoulders, leaving love bites. I can't help but groan his name, and I wonder briefly how long he's been wanting this. (How long have _I_ been wanting this?) _I don't_ want _this,_ I remind myself. It's just means to an end. And that end is _finally_ proving that he's a vampire, once and for all.

" _Bite me_ ," I whisper fervently, barely audible. My voice wavers and Baz stills, and for a moment I wonder if I've gone and bloody fucked it up.

" _Excuse_ me, Snow?"

"Baz. _Bite_ me." I say again, meeting his gaze as he moves to sit up. (Just _one look_ and this'll all be over with.)

"Simon, I don't um-" He looks unsure, and I try to non-verbally communicate that he can trust me. (Even though this _is_ all just a plot to prove his vampirism.) (Maybe _I'm_ the one that's been plotting this whole time.) "I don't think that's a good idea." He looks to anywhere but me. Right. So that's _practically_ an admission. I could just stop right here, call it good, yeah? But something tugs in my gut (and _not_ my never ending hunger, for once), telling me that I shouldn't stop here. I don't _want_ to stop here.

"Baz, love," I bring a hand up to his (Edward Cullen style) cheekbones. "It's okay. I don't care." I try telling myself I _do_ care, but, well. I don't think I intended to go this far, and now I've got no idea where to go from here.

For a moment, I think he's either going to walk away or punch me. Instead, he reaches up to take my hand and takes a deep breath. Then he opens his mouth a bit. Before anything happens, I give his hand a reassuring squeeze. When his fangs drop and he flushes a bit, I can't help but gasp.

" _Wicked_ ," I expected a lot of things to come out of my mouth when I finally saw his fangs. Admiration was not expected. Attraction was not expected. Blood rushing to certain extremities _was not expected_.

He smiles a bit and rolls his eyes when I try to get closer to look at them. "Really?" He asks, gently trying to push me away. (It's half arsed. He's not really _trying_ , anyway.)

" _Crowley_ , Baz! They're- they're so _cool_." He flushes just a touch again as I put my hand out to touch the front of one. (Is this weird? This is definitely weird.) "This is insane. _In_ sane, Baz! Do they pop out when you eat?"

"Yes," I always wondered why he didn't eat in the dining hall. (He lisps with his fangs. It is the single most bloody arousing thing I've ever heard in my life.)

"And you um," I stumble, looking for the right words. "They help you... _drink_?" He goes stiff and I rub soft circles in his hand to help him relax. He only nods. "Okay, and now the biggest question." He braces himself.

"Carry on then, Simon."

"Your fangs- are they... are they like straws that suck the blood up or do you stab and then drink?" He stares at me in what I can only assume to be shock at my genius question, but then he laughs and rolls his eyes while shoving me, and I think he might be the most beautiful thing I've seen, fangs and all. ( _Especially_ with the fangs.)

"I am not a _sippy cup,_ Simon. I could kill you in an instant- without magic. I'm..." He trails off, looking sad. I think I know what he's thinking, and I don't like it a bit. (Maybe this morning I would've said I did. But now? Now it's like everything has changed... maybe because everything _has_.)

I softly open his mouth and press a soft kiss to each of his fangs. Somehow, he manages to both tense and relax at the same time. "You're beautiful, Baz." I know his secret now. Years and _years_ spent trying to get it out of him- for just _some_ clue. But what I didn't realize was that he was giving me bloody clues all the time! I was right daft, looking for other secrets- the _wrong_ secrets..Not knowing he was always trying to tell me his biggest one of all.

He fancies me. More than that, I think after the right proper snog we had, I fancy him. (And I think it's been that way a long bloody time, too.) I dunno what I thought I'd do once I figured out he was a vampire and he showed me his fangs. Maybe I thought I was going to tell the mage; finally get rid of Baz, once and for all. But really, I think Penny would tell me this has all been because I secretly wanted to snog him. (Maybe she's right- usually is.)

Baz grins at me like I'm all he's ever wanted. (He's all _I've_ ever wanted- I just didn't know it yet.) "You're not so bad yourself, Snow." (His lisping is driving me _mad_.)

"You called me Simon, before." He shakes his head and cocks his eyebrow in that infuriating way that's _always_ riled me up. (In more ways than one, now that I think on it.)

"No I-" I shove my mouth into his, risking my lip getting sliced open in order to shut him up. (If I would have known this method of shutting-up would work, I certainly would have done it a bloody long time ago.)

After what seems like a very long and heated time, I pull back, despite his protestations. Sheepishly, but with more want and lust and _love_ that I've ever felt before, I choke out, "About that bite I asked for earlier..."


End file.
